dismissive

New Forums Added

The existing forums at Jeb Kinnison Forums are run by a service that is charging more and more to keep them ad-free, so I’ve added forums on this site — not the easiest thing to do but they seem to work. I’ll be tinkering with them further since I’m not happy with the font sizes or line spacing, but feel free to use them — see the link in the header above for “New Forums” and check it out. The old forums are quite active these days with as many a 6,000 pageviews a day, so check them out until the new ones are active. Note that you have to join the new forums using the box in the sidebar to comment there, but anyone should be able to read them.

Backup of old forum here: Old Forum Backup 6-2018

“Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner” – print on Amazon

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

At last, you can order the trade paperback version from Amazon HERE.

From the book:

This book is about finding a way to be happy individually and as a couple when one or more members of a couple has avoidant attachment issues—either dismissive or fearful-avoidant (which is sometimes called anxious-avoidant.)

Not knowing anything about attachment types, many people discover their partner is avoidant only after a few years of distress, and by accident when someone tells them about attachment types, or when they do some research online. Having an avoidant attachment type is not a disease or disorder; it simply means early childhood experiences with caregivers left them with little trust for intimate companions, and a desire to avoid the pain that might come if they became dependent and then were hurt by a loved one’s failure to help them, as likely happened to them when they were infants. This subconscious lack of trust and desire for intimacy means they are “intimacy avoidant.”

If your partner is avoidant, you will recognize the signs immediately in reading the chapters on Dismissive-Avoidants and Fearful-Avoidants. Some of the turmoil their relationships undergo is centered around their inability and lack of desire to respond supportively to request signals from their partner; the disappointment and anger of the partner then feeds back into further withdrawal by the dismissive, and the relationship begins to crack under the strain.

One of the points of this book is that not only can avoidants change (with therapy and motivation) to be more supportive, but their partners can learn to understand and accept more their need for emotional distance. Your avoidant partner is a complex individual with a history and many characteristics beyond attachment type; while some avoidants (especially the dismissive variety) are likely to be tough to live with for almost anyone, yours may be able to modify their thoughts and behavior enough to improve your relationship. And you may find more happiness by understanding better how they feel.

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“Avoidant” – Trade Paperback Proof Available

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

The printed version of Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner is not available from Amazon for a few more days, but if you’re in a hurry to get a printed copy, the 6″x9″ format trade paperback can be ordered here. Use discount code EP36H4YT for $3 off the $14.95 list price.

There are two small formatting errors that you probably won’t notice, so I’ll have a corrected edition set up in a few weeks. Thus this first edition will be rare!

The Kindle version at Amazon is here.

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Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

AvoidantKindleCoverHigh705x1125

My next book has been published and is available for sale as a Kindle book on Amazon. Right now available from Amazon Kindle for $3.99, and a trade paperback is also available.

If you’ve been wondering what to do about your “difficult” dismissive or fearful-avoidant spouse or lover, it’s a handbook for understanding and dealing with them. If you’re a regular reader here, you will have seen some of the material posted earlier, like Dismissive-Avoidants as Parents.

Since avoidant partners are the most read-about topic here and I’ve heard more from readers with this problem than any other, it seemed worth concentrating on. Since there’s a pretty decent recent book on the anxious-preoccupied, this was an area no one has addressed well (in a reasonably-priced popular book.)

Buy it in Kindle format at Amazon.

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