This jumped out at me a few days ago. Avoidant got recategorized, and suddenly it’s number one in sales in the quiet “Counseling” category. This is the kind of thing that allows publishers to advertise like this: “#1 Amazon Bestselling Author Jeb Kinnison!” — technically true but misleading.
Contest rules: send an email to JebKinnison@gmail.com telling me why you’d like to have the audiobook of either (only one, so say which you want) and in a week or so I’ll send ten of each out to those who did the best job. If I get less than ten requests, all win!
About a year ago I got an email from a Chinese company I’d never heard of, Douban, which turns out to be a media platform selling primarily on phones. Reading on phones is big in China, and they were wanting to have some of my books translated into Simplified Chinese by running a translation contest, then they’d sell the books and give a cut to the winning translator as well as me.
They seemed legit and it’s a cool idea, so I said yes. Long long wait and a financing later, I signed a contract with Beijing Ark Reading Technology in January. Still no sign of the contest, so I have no idea when readers in China will get to read my books, but I’m hoping Real Soon Now.
At last, you can order the trade paperback version from Amazon HERE.
From the book:
This book is about finding a way to be happy individually and as a couple when one or more members of a couple has avoidant attachment issues—either dismissive or fearful-avoidant (which is sometimes called anxious-avoidant.)
Not knowing anything about attachment types, many people discover their partner is avoidant only after a few years of distress, and by accident when someone tells them about attachment types, or when they do some research online. Having an avoidant attachment type is not a disease or disorder; it simply means early childhood experiences with caregivers left them with little trust for intimate companions, and a desire to avoid the pain that might come if they became dependent and then were hurt by a loved one’s failure to help them, as likely happened to them when they were infants. This subconscious lack of trust and desire for intimacy means they are “intimacy avoidant.”
If your partner is avoidant, you will recognize the signs immediately in reading the chapters on Dismissive-Avoidants and Fearful-Avoidants. Some of the turmoil their relationships undergo is centered around their inability and lack of desire to respond supportively to request signals from their partner; the disappointment and anger of the partner then feeds back into further withdrawal by the dismissive, and the relationship begins to crack under the strain.
One of the points of this book is that not only can avoidants change (with therapy and motivation) to be more supportive, but their partners can learn to understand and accept more their need for emotional distance. Your avoidant partner is a complex individual with a history and many characteristics beyond attachment type; while some avoidants (especially the dismissive variety) are likely to be tough to live with for almost anyone, yours may be able to modify their thoughts and behavior enough to improve your relationship. And you may find more happiness by understanding better how they feel.
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