Month: November 2014

Another Review: “Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner”
Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner got its second Amazon review a few hours after the first! Maybe the first reviewer suggested it for a friend? In any case, I love getting good reviews like this:

5.0 out of 5 stars If only this book came out sooner…
November 12, 2014
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)

This book saved my life. I’ve read nearly all the books out there on attachment theory — this one by far is one of the best. Similar to the previous review, I struggled for nearly a year in trying to understand why my relationship fell apart out of nowhere. It was the most painful and traumatic experience I ever had.

I’m grateful for Jeb Kinnison for writing this book and explaining in very clear, yet detailed terms, why avoidants act the way they do. The man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with turned out to be a fearful avoidant. Up until reading this book I thought our breakup was entirely my fault. This book turned out to be the only thing that gave me answers and ultimately true comfort. I really enjoyed how the author went into describing the many scenarios and/or conversations that are common with dating an avoidant — many of which I experienced first hand. This book is legit — it’s the real deal. Save yourself from heartache and pain. Read it again and again. You’ll be happy you did when you finally end up in the healthy and everlasting relationship you deserve.

Review: “Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner”
Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner is selling well, about 200 copies in the month it’s been for sale, but I made no special effort to get people to review it–and not one of those 200 buyers did! Until today.

Apparently Amazon customers are no longer taking the time to review books–less than 1% do. This is bad, because Amazon reviews are one of the few indicators of quality left, and if there aren’t many, the ratings can easily be skewed by trolls who sadistically leave one-star reviews and trash your work.

Only a few newspapers and magazines still do book reviews, and those are almost entirely of the legacy-publisher-with-connections and PR variety. If a book becomes news itself after selling well, as 50 Shades of Grey and Wool did, then it will get coverage, otherwise not.

I was very pleased with this reader’s review:

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars easy to understand November 12, 2014
By Twixt
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

I found this book to be tremendously helpful. It provided a level of insight into the dynamics of my relationship after nearly a year of struggling to find answers from my partner about behavior I found unsettling. At some point in my struggle I arrived at the word ‘dismissive’ in my google searches, and this book came onto my desk.

The subject matter is in depth, easy to understand, and provides an objective matter-of-fact perspective on what is certainly one of the foundations interpersonal dynamics. I strongly suggest this book for anyone that is struggling to find understanding and clarity in an otherwise confusing and/or frustrating relationship … especially one that seems to be conflicting, hypocritical and misleading. It’ll help you understand what is going on, how to manage through it or how to move on.

“Red Queen: The Substrate Wars” First Part
Red Queen: The Substrate Wars, Cover

Red Queen: The Substrate Wars

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll have noticed my rate of posting has declined lately. This is because I’m working on a novel, my first venture into fiction in years. It’s science fiction and adventure; my effort to write a good story the kids will both enjoy and learn from, as I did in my youth.

I have criticized modern “politically correct” science fiction for its grim view of progress and its conformist political content. This is my answer to books for young people like Pills and Starships. And the resemblance to Hunger Games is intentional — what Hunger Games gets right is that young people can remake the world to be a better place.

The world of Red Queen is post-terrorist disaster, repressive and regimented — rather like China today, but poorer. In that sense it is a dystopia, though not so far from our own day and time; only a few steps beyond where we are now. The kids are cowed but not unaware, and they seize the opportunity to make a difference when their smarts and courage allow it. And so they change the world.

I’m putting the first section out for beta readers. I’d appreciate any thoughts and error corrections you might have. The science gets more fully explained in the next section, for those of you into physics.

I’m doing a Hugh Howey and publishing this myself. I’d be most interested in hearing from agents or publishers who are interested, but I expect to finish in three months and the legacy publishing timetable is simply too slow, even though a good editor would be very helpful.

So I’m counting on you folks. If you read the first section, send me your comments at jebkinnison@gmail.com, and also email me if you want to be on the beta reader list for the full draft version. I apologize in advance for getting you interested and involved in the story, then making you wait to finish it!

[edit: removed drafts since full book is available]

“Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner” IR Approved
Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner

Indie Reader has reviewed Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner here.

Shortened review for web sites:

IR Verdict: 4/5 Stars, IR Approved. … a useful resource for those trapped in relationships with people unable to give them the caring connection they require.

Kinnison addresses specifically those readers who have found themselves already attached to an avoidant partner, who want to find a way to either a healthy relationship or a healthy breakup. He discusses ways… an avoidant partner can become more empathetic and responsive, while also showing how their spouse or significant other can adapt their own behavior patterns in order to avoid the worst aspects of loving an avoidant.

AVOIDANT has the merits of being eminently practical first and foremost… The advice he offers is generally sound, and sympathetic to all concerned. He also suggests in places specific actions a person can take in order to get past bad patterns in their own emotional life and in their relationships, and uses actual cases – with the names, of course, changed – as examples…. a useful resource for those trapped in relationships with people unable to give them the caring connection they require.

— IndieReader