Month: May 2014

Bad Boyfriends: Barnes and Noble Seal of Approval

AudiobookCover2

Barnes and Noble sent me a letter (typed! signed by hand! via the antique US Mail!) saying that their category buyer liked the book well enough to buy a test lot and enter it into their ordering system, so while you likely won’t find it on the shelves of your local store just yet, you can request it at any Barnes and Noble and they’ll special order it. You can also special order it at most bookstores now. Be one of the first to read the print version, and spread the word to your friends who need relationship help by telling them to read it….

Meanwhile, the audiobook is being processed and should be available in a few weeks; I’ll announce it when I hear from them.

If you want to order online, here are the biggest vendors:

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Amazon Canada

Amazon Australia

Barnes and Noble trade paperback

More on Avoidant and Bad Boyfriends:











Constant Arguing Can Be Deadly…

CoupleFighting600x396

…not just to your relationship, but to the partners! Constant arguments or nagging increases death risk, especially for men.

The study: “Stressful social relations and mortality: a prospective cohort study,” by
Rikke Lund1,2, Ulla Christensen1, Charlotte Juul Nilsson, Margit Kriegbaum, and Naja Hulvej Rod of the
University of Copenhagen in Denmark.

Results: Frequent worries/demands from partner or children were associated with 50–100% increased mortality risk. Frequent conflicts with any type of social relation were associated with 2–3 times increased mortality risk. Interaction between labour force participation and worries/demands (462 additional cases per 100 000 person-years, p=0.05) and conflicts with partner (830 additional cases per 100 000 person-years, p<0.01) was suggested. Being male and experiencing frequent worries/demands from partner produced 135 extra cases per 100 000 person-years, p=0.05 due to interaction.

Conclusions: Stressful social relations are associated with increased mortality risk among middle-aged men and women for a variety of different social roles. Those outside the labour force and men seem especially vulnerable to exposure.

The BBC’s writeup of the study is more readable.

More on Divorce, Marriage, and Mateseeking

Marriages Happening Late, Are Good for You
Monogamy and Relationship Failure; “Love Illuminated”
“Millionaire Matchmaker”
More reasons to find a good partner: lower heart disease!
“Princeton Mom” Susan Patton: “Marry Smart” not so smart
“Blue Valentine”
“All the Taken Men are Best” – why women poach married men….
“Marriage Rate Lowest in a Century”
Making Divorce Hard to Strengthen Marriages?
Student Loan Debt: Problems in Divorce
“The Upside of ‘Marrying Down’”
The High Cost of Divorce
Separate Beds Save Marriages?
Marital Discord Linked to Depression
Marriage Contracts: Give People More Legal Options
Older Couples Avoiding Marriage For Financial Reasons
Divorced Men 8 Times as Likely to Commit Suicide as Divorced Women
Vox Charts Millennial Marriage Depression
What’s the Matter with Marriage?
Life Is Unfair! The Great Chain of Dysfunction Ends With You.
Leftover Women: The Chinese Scene
Constant Arguing Can Be Deadly…
“If a fraught relationship significantly shortens your life, are you better off alone?
“Divorce in America: Who Really Wants Out and Why”
View Marriage as a Private Contract?
“It’s up there with ‘Men Are From Mars’ and ‘The Road Less Travelled’”
Free Love, eHarmony, Matchmaking Pseudoscience
Love Songs of the Secure Attachment Type
“The New ‘I Do’”
Unrealistic Expectations: Liberal Arts Woman and Amazon Men
Mark Manson’s “Six Healthy Relationship Habits”
“The Science of Happily Ever After” – Couples Communications
Free Dating Sites: Which Have Attachment Type Screening?
Dating Pool Danger: Harder to Find Good Partners After 30
Mate-Seeking: The Science of Finding Your Best Partner
Perfect Soulmates or Fellow Travelers: Being Happy Depends on Perspective
No Marriage, Please: Cohabiting Taking Over
“Marriage Markets” – Marriage Beyond Our Means?
Rules for Relationships: Realism and Empathy
Limerence vs. Love
The “Fairy Tale” Myth: Both False and Destructive
When to Break Up or Divorce? The Economic View
“Why Are Great Husbands Being Abandoned?”
Divorce and Alimony: State-By-State Reform, Massachusetts Edition
“Sliding” Into Marriage, Small Weddings Associated with Poor Outcomes
Subconscious Positivity Predicts Marriage Success…
Why We Are Attracted to Bad Partners (Who Resemble a Parent)

Leftover Women: The Chinese Scene

Chinese wedding

Traditional Chinese Wedding Costume


From The Economist we have this interesting article about the changing cultural landscape for women in China. As is most areas there, some pre-Communist ideas are coming back, while the large numbers of professional women are resisting Party attempts to reduce their pay and status. What’s amusing about the Communist Party line is how much it resembles Princeton Mom Susan Patton’s advice:

IN 2007 China’s official Xinhua news agency published a commentary about women who were still unmarried at the age of 27 under the title, “Eight Simple Moves to Escape the Leftover Woman Trap”. The Communist Party had concluded that young Chinese women were becoming too picky and were over-focused on attaining the “three highs”: high education, professional status and income. Newspapers have since reprinted similar editorials. In 2011 one said: “The tragedy is they don’t realise that as women age they are worth less and less, so by the time they get their MA or PhD, they are already old, like yellowed pearls.”

The tone of these articles is surprising, given the Communist Party’s past support for women’s advancement. Mao Zedong destroyed China, but he succeeded in raising the status of women. Almost the first legislation enacted by the Communist Party in 1950 was the Marriage Law under which women were given many new rights, including the right to divorce and the right to own property. Though collectivisation made the latter largely irrelevant, women played an active role in Mao’s China, and still do today. By 2010 26% of urban women had university degrees, double the proportion ten years earlier. Women now regularly outperform men at Chinese universities, which has led to gender-based quotas favouring men in some entrance exams. However, many of the earlier advances have been eroded in recent years by the gradual re-emergence of traditional patriarchal attitudes.

Leta Hong Fincher, an American journalist-turned-academic, argues that the same party that pushed through the elevation of women’s status in the 1950s is now trying to engineer their return to the kitchen. The new campaign seems to be working. In 1990 urban Chinese women’s salaries were 78% of the level of men’s pay. In 2010, that had decreased to 67%. The female urban employment rate also fell, from 77% in 1990 to 61% in 2010.

Under Mao almost all women married, but now the expanding social freedoms of the new century have led more women to remain single, whether by choice or not. That alarms the party, says Ms Fincher. Society, it believes, is more stable with fewer single people. New families, it argues, can drive consumption and the property boom, and if most educated, alpha females are married, then, it believes, better “quality” children will be born.

The party has joined an alliance of property companies and dating websites to confront the issue. Government surveys on marriage and property are often sponsored by matchmaking agencies, and perpetuate the perception that being “leftover” is the worst thing that can happen to a woman. They also promote other myths, such as the idea that a man must have a house before he can marry.

The law is reflecting the shift away from women’s empowerment too. An interpretation by the Supreme Court in 2011 of the 1950 Marriage Law stated that, when a couple divorces, property should not be shared equally, but each side should keep what is in his or her own name. This ruling, says Ms Fincher, has serious implications. In the big cities a third of marriages now end in divorce but, based on hundreds of interviews, she finds that only about 30% of married women have their name on the deeds of the marital flat. Women believe the party hype about becoming a “leftover” woman so strongly, she says, that many rush into unhappy marriages with unsuitable men, made on condition that the brides agree not to put their name on the property deeds. Consequently, many women have been shut out of “possibly the biggest accumulation of residential real-estate wealth in history”, worth more than $30 trillion in 2013.

I’ve commented here that I think it would be wise to offer a separate-property marriage contract for those who would otherwise be afraid to commit. The Chinese are already trying it out, though of course they don’t give people a choice, either!


Death by HR: How Affirmative Action Cripples OrganizationsDeath by HR: How Affirmative Action Cripples Organizations

[From Death by HR: How Affirmative Action Cripples Organizations,  available now in Kindle and trade paperback.]

The first review is in: by Elmer T. Jones, author of The Employment Game. Here’s the condensed version; view the entire review here.

Corporate HR Scrambles to Halt Publication of “Death by HR”

Nobody gets a job through HR. The purpose of HR is to protect their parent organization against lawsuits for running afoul of the government’s diversity extortion bureaus. HR kills companies by blanketing industry with onerous gender and race labor compliance rules and forcing companies to hire useless HR staff to process the associated paperwork… a tour de force… carefully explains to CEOs how HR poisons their companies and what steps they may take to marginalize this threat… It is time to turn the tide against this madness, and Death by HR is an important research tool… All CEOs should read this book. If you are a mere worker drone but care about your company, you should forward an anonymous copy to him.

 


More reading:

Divorced Men 8 Times as Likely to Commit Suicide as Divorced Women
Life Is Unfair! The Militant Red Pill Movement
Leftover Women: The Chinese Scene
“Divorce in America: Who Really Wants Out and Why”
View Marriage as a Private Contract?
Madmen, Red Pill, and Social Justice Wars
Unrealistic Expectations: Liberal Arts Woman and Amazon Men
Stable is Boring? “Psychology Today” Article on Bad Boyfriends
Ross Douthat on Unstable Families and Culture
Ev Psych: Parental Preferences in Partners
Purge: the Feminist Grievance Bubble
The Social Decay of Black Neighborhoods (And Yours!)
Modern Feminism: Victim-Based Special Pleading
Stereotype Inaccuracy: False Dichotomies
Real-Life “Hunger Games”: Soft Oppression Destroys the Poor
Red Pill Women — Female MRAs
Why Did Black Crime Syndicates Fail to Go Legit?
The “Fairy Tale” Myth: Both False and Destructive
Feminism’s Heritage: Freedom vs. Special Protections
Evolve or Die: Survival Value of the Feminine Imperative
“Why Are Great Husbands Being Abandoned?”
Divorce and Alimony: State-By-State Reform, Massachusetts Edition
Reading “50 Shades of Grey” Gives You Anorexia and an Abusive Partner!
Why We Are Attracted to Bad Partners (Who Resemble a Parent)
Gaming and Science Fiction: Social Justice Warriors Strike Again
Culture Wars: Peace Through Limited Government
Perfect Soulmates or Fellow Travelers: Being Happy Depends on Perspective
Mate-Seeking: The Science of Finding Your Best Partner
“The Science of Happily Ever After” – Couples Communications

More on Divorce, Marriage, and Mateseeking

Marriages Happening Late, Are Good for You
Monogamy and Relationship Failure; “Love Illuminated”
“Millionaire Matchmaker”
More reasons to find a good partner: lower heart disease!
“Princeton Mom” Susan Patton: “Marry Smart” not so smart
“Blue Valentine”
“All the Taken Men are Best” – why women poach married men….
“Marriage Rate Lowest in a Century”
Making Divorce Hard to Strengthen Marriages?
Student Loan Debt: Problems in Divorce
“The Upside of ‘Marrying Down’”
The High Cost of Divorce
Separate Beds Save Marriages?
Marital Discord Linked to Depression
Marriage Contracts: Give People More Legal Options
Older Couples Avoiding Marriage For Financial Reasons
Divorced Men 8 Times as Likely to Commit Suicide as Divorced Women
Vox Charts Millennial Marriage Depression
What’s the Matter with Marriage?
Life Is Unfair! The Great Chain of Dysfunction Ends With You.
Leftover Women: The Chinese Scene
Constant Arguing Can Be Deadly…
“If a fraught relationship significantly shortens your life, are you better off alone?
“Divorce in America: Who Really Wants Out and Why”
View Marriage as a Private Contract?
“It’s up there with ‘Men Are From Mars’ and ‘The Road Less Travelled’”
Free Love, eHarmony, Matchmaking Pseudoscience
Love Songs of the Secure Attachment Type
“The New ‘I Do’”
Unrealistic Expectations: Liberal Arts Woman and Amazon Men
Mark Manson’s “Six Healthy Relationship Habits”
“The Science of Happily Ever After” – Couples Communications
Free Dating Sites: Which Have Attachment Type Screening?
Dating Pool Danger: Harder to Find Good Partners After 30
Mate-Seeking: The Science of Finding Your Best Partner
Perfect Soulmates or Fellow Travelers: Being Happy Depends on Perspective
No Marriage, Please: Cohabiting Taking Over
“Marriage Markets” – Marriage Beyond Our Means?
Rules for Relationships: Realism and Empathy
Limerence vs. Love
The “Fairy Tale” Myth: Both False and Destructive
When to Break Up or Divorce? The Economic View
“Why Are Great Husbands Being Abandoned?”
Divorce and Alimony: State-By-State Reform, Massachusetts Edition
“Sliding” Into Marriage, Small Weddings Associated with Poor Outcomes
Subconscious Positivity Predicts Marriage Success…
Why We Are Attracted to Bad Partners (Who Resemble a Parent)

Fructose: The True Villain?

Another MIT person (a few classes ahead of me!) makes the news. He believes the primary reason for today’s obesity epidemic is excess sugar — especially fructose — in the diet. He’s been promoting this idea for years and as the science continues to support it, he’s practically made it a career. Unfortunately the dietary Conventional Wisdom takes decades to change, even with many people working hard to change it; and the food industry — notably the makers of sweet drinks and snack foods like Coca Cola and Frito Lay-Pepsi — tries hard to cast doubt. While the evidence definitely points added fructose as a big problem, all high-glycemic-index carbs are to be minimized in your diet if you want to stay trim into middle age. MIT’s alumni magazine Technology Review has this story:

In December of 2006, Robert Lustig ’77 was sifting through journal articles on liver disease in preparation for a talk on obesity for an environmental-health symposium when he was struck by a realization about sugar. Little did he realize that his simple insight would change the course of his career—and quite possibly change the way all of us eat.

Lustig, an endocrinologist and professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco, was already an authority on childhood obesity and director of the university’s weight assessment program for kids and teens, but he wasn’t yet the famous antisugar crusader he is today. He hadn’t yet been featured in the New York Times Magazine or appeared on 60 Minutes. He hadn’t published his popular book, Fat Chance, or exchanged barbs with Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report.

And so when asked to discuss why so many of us were becoming obese and sick, he didn’t yet have a good answer. He understood that the hormone insulin plays a role in obesity. The children with brain tumors whom he’d cared for at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis often suffered from hypothalamic damage, either from the cancer itself or from the treatment, and many of them became obese. Following up on suspicions posited in the 1970s by other researchers, Lustig had shown in 1999 that those obese patients had increased activity of the vagus nerve, which in turn led to greater insulin secretion. When he administered an insulin-­suppressive agent, they lost weight and became more active.

Although Lustig understood that elevated insulin levels were linked to obesity, he hadn’t focused on the relationship between insulin and sugar. Like most other medical professionals at the time, he thought all calories were essentially alike in their ability to make us fat. The problem with sugar, this line of thinking goes, is that it provides only empty calories, negligible in nutritional value.

And yet as Lustig began to look more closely at the literature on sugar in preparation for the symposium, a different picture emerged. Table sugar, or sucrose, is made up of equal parts glucose and fructose, but it was the molecule of fructose that grabbed his attention. Fructose didn’t seem to act at all like most substances we consume. Rather, Lustig realized, it behaved like one particular substance: alcohol.

In some ways, the connection between alcohol and fructose was obvious enough. After all, fermentation can turn both glucose and fructose into alcohol. But while glucose is metabolized by every cell in the body, fructose—like alcohol—is primarily metabolized in the liver, where some of it is converted into fat through a process known as de novo lipogenesis. Consume enough fructose and you could very well end up not only increasing the fat in your blood but also fattening your liver, just as you might by drinking too much alcohol. In fact, that’s exactly what happens in rodents. “I started to research the sugar literature, and it was almost like a one-to-one match,” Lustig says of the similarities between the metabolism of fructose and alcohol. This led him to his controversial conclusion: consumed chronically in large amounts—that is, the way most of us consume it—sugar is poison.

Scientists are still unraveling the biological mechanism at work and sorting out exactly how much fructose might be too much in humans. What’s clear is that fructose and glucose are metabolized very differently, and that unlike glucose, which is the body’s main source of energy, fructose isn’t biologically necessary. Although humans have always consumed carbohydrates, which we convert into glucose, essentially all the fructose we ate before the rise of the worldwide sugar industry 500 years ago came from the small amount in fruits and honey. (The natural fructose in fruit isn’t thought to be a health concern because the fruit’s fiber and cellular structure slow down the rate at which it hits the liver.) [ed. note: but beware fruit juice, which accelerates the fructose’s absorption!]

Glucose, too, can be dangerous in excess, Lustig acknowledges. The glucose from our meals that doesn’t end up being used for fuel or stored in the form of glycogen can also end up as liver fat. And whether it’s being driven by fructose or glucose, this accumulation of liver fat appears to be the first step toward insulin resistance and increased insulin levels—the same phenomenon that was making Lustig’s young cancer patients obese. Worse yet, insulin resistance is believed to contribute to a cascade of other metabolic disorders that result in type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and even many cancers. Either way, sugar looked like a villain.

Lustig feared that he would be booed off the stage when he delivered this news to the environmental-health scientists. After all, he was doing much more than telling them that their favorite foods could be toxic. He was also challenging the medical establishment’s most basic dietary advice. For decades Americans had been warned by doctors, scientists, and government agencies that eating too much fat, particularly saturated fat, would clog their arteries and shorten their lives. Now one of the nation’s experts on childhood obesity was declaring that maybe everyone had been focusing on the wrong target. Or, as Lustig would later declare, “It ain’t the fat, people.”

Lustig set out to learn as much as he could on the subject. And the more he learned, the worse the picture looked. Each day, Americans were consuming a startling 22 teaspoons of “added” sugar—that is, sugar beyond the naturally occurring fructose in fruit or lactose in dairy products. Lustig believes that amount far exceeds what our livers can handle. The safe upper limit, both he and the American Heart Association believe, is four teaspoons of added sugar per day for children, six for women, and nine for men (nine teaspoons—or 36 grams—is about what you’ll find in a typical 12-ounce can of soda). More troubling yet, sugar is no longer something manufacturers add only to sweets. Today, it’s almost impossible to avoid. “Of the 600,000 items in the American grocery store, 77 percent of them have added sugar,” Lustig says. “You can’t even reduce your consumption when you’re trying to.”

Although Lustig quickly made an impression in public-health circles, it wasn’t until July 2009, when University of California Television posted one of his lectures on YouTube, that he reached a mainstream audience. The lecture, called “Sugar: The Bitter Truth,” is an hour and a half long and packed with scientific data on fructose metabolism. In other words, it isn’t exactly the type of video that has “Internet sensation” written all over it. And yet, it has been viewed more than four million times.

Why did a long scientific lecture go viral? It turns out that Lustig, who has authored more than 100 research articles and is the former chairman of the Obesity Task Force of the Pediatric Endocrine Society, is also a veteran performer.

In “Sugar: The Bitter Truth,” his talents for public speaking are on full display. Between the graphs and the dense scientific explanations, he peppers the talk with personal anecdotes about his childhood, long dramatic pauses, provocative statements (he calls fructose “alcohol without the buzz”), and plenty of tantalizing, if unproven, claims—he not only suggests that Coke includes lots of salt to make us thirstier (and extra sugar to cover the taste of all that salt) but dubs this supposed scheme “the Coca-Cola conspiracy.”

“Lustig deservedly gets attention for his ideas, not least because he’s fun,” says Marion Nestle, a New York University nutritionist and the author of the book Food Politics. “He is a master of exaggeration and hyperbole, but underneath all that, he really knows what he’s talking about and cares deeply about keeping kids healthy.”

Lustig, who lives with his wife and two daughters in San Francisco, can trace his foundations in science to his undergraduate days at MIT. He credits 20.30, Sanford A. Miller’s course in nutritional biochemistry, with spurring his curiosity about diet and nutrition. (Miller would later serve as director of the FDA’s Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition.) But Lustig’s MIT experience also contributed to his ability to engage an audience. In the three years he spent at the Institute, he managed to be involved in 14 plays, acting in most of them. “It taught me how to get on stage and how not to be scared,” he says.

If Lustig’s gift for public speaking has earned him a lot of online fans, some of his fellow researchers seem less enthused by what they see as his willingness to make bold claims that aren’t substantiated by the scientific literature. Critics point out that the strongest evidence against fructose comes from animal studies, which can’t tell us very much about our own metabolism. Other studies that point to the hazards of sugar, if not fructose specifically, generally are not controlled experiments but merely associations observed between the foods consumed in certain countries (or by specific groups of people) and the health problems those people later develop. Even though such studies may receive a lot of media attention, they can’t conclusively show that sugar is driving the disease process. And while small clinical trials with human subjects have pointed to the dangers of fructose—one 2009 study found that a single week of fructose overfeeding could increase triglycerides (associated with cardiovascular disease) and decrease insulin sensitivity—the large, randomly controlled trials that might provide a more definitive answer would be extremely difficult to carry out.

Luc Tappy, a researcher at the University of Lausanne in Switzerland and a leading authority on fructose metabolism, isn’t yet convinced about the dangers of fructose. In a 2012 paper, he wrote that for humans, “there is no solid evidence that fructose, when consumed in moderate amounts, has deleterious effects.” Though Tappy doesn’t question the honesty of Lustig’s intentions, he says he should not be relied upon as a scientific expert on the topic: “He certainly does not provide a balanced view of things.”

But if Tappy has doubts about Lustig’s presentation of the science, he also thinks he has played a key role in bringing the sugar debate to the public. “At some stage, you have to take decisions without knowing everything, because it would take forever to collect all relevant scientific data,” he says.

Lustig refutes the idea that he’s more provocateur than scientist. He says he wouldn’t be sticking his neck out if he didn’t believe that the science supported his claims. “The science is there,” he insists. He recently coauthored both The Fat Chance Cookbook and a study in the journal PLOS One that shows a strong link between the amount of sugar in a country’s food supply and the prevalence of diabetes in that country. And last year he earned a master of studies in law from the UC Hastings College of the Law in order to better understand how to influence public policy. His ultimate goal is to see fructose removed from the FDA’s list of foods that are “generally recognized as safe.” He points to the recent announcement that the FDA plans to take trans fats off the list—a change that came after 25 years of scientific debate—as evidence that such change is possible.

Lustig may not have to wait a quarter of a century to see some of the steps he seeks. In February the FDA proposed major changes to nutrition labels on food packages. One of those changes: a new line that would highlight added sugars.

“I can’t take credit, and they most certainly won’t bestow it,” Lustig says. “But it does validate the work I’ve been doing.”

Another of his videos about obesity:

For more on diet and weight loss:

Getting to Less Than 10% Body Fat Like the Models – Ask Me How!
Starbucks, Jamba Juice Make You Fat
Fat Doesn’t Make You Fat. Government Guidelines Did!
‘Fed Up’ Asks, Are All Calories Equal?
More on “Fed Up”, Sugar Subsidies, and Obesity
Another Study on Diet Drinks
LeBron James Cut Carbs for Lean Look
Why We’re Fat: In-Depth Studies Under Way
Almonds: Superfood, Eat Them Daily for Heart Health
Fish Oil Supplements Ward Off Dementia
More on Diet Drinks: Best Studies Show They Aid Weight Loss
Vani Hari: “Food Babe” and Quack
Cleanses and Detox Diets: Quackery
Sugared Soft Drinks: Health Risk? (and What About Diet Soda?)
Gluten-Free Diets: The Nocebo Effect
Acidic Soft Drinks and Sodas: Demineralization Damages Teeth
Fish and Fish Oil for Better Brain Health
Salt: New Research Says Too Little May Be Unhealthy
Bulletproof Coffee: Coffee, Oil, and Butter for Breakfast?