Author’s Note

Human loneliness is one of the hidden problems of our technologically advanced and mobile age—as our lives get more complicated and our neighborhood of friends has expanded to include social networks, the loss of community feeling to busy-ness and isolated lives is acutely felt. In this detached world, a good partner, companion, or spouse is more important than ever.

Most people are unaware of modern Attachment Theory, developed starting in the 1940s by psychoanalyst John Bowlby observing the homeless and orphaned children of World War II, further developed in children by developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s, and extended to adults by Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver in the late 1980s. While there have been some efforts to explain the theory to the lay audience who could surely apply it useful in their lives, it remains obscure.

So we’ve written this book to try to explain attachment theory (and its application to relationships) to those searching for loyal and trustworthy companions in life. We’ve observed far too many friends and neighbors floundering with relationship issues that sap them of energy and make them unhappy. Not every such problem can be solved, but knowing what the landscape of attachment looks like can guide one to a better way of communicating, and a better way of living.

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