What’s the Matter with Marriage?


A festival of links. If you follow these you’ll be exposed to a lot of discussion from a wide variety of perspectives on the current state of mate-seeking and marriage, and a lot of unhappiness about both. Some of the comments are from points of view I have never considered. Much of this is ideological and political wrangling; I think good marriages are very important to a healthy society, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to change laws to somehow “promote marriage.” There are certainly current government policies that have created incentives that make people hesitate before subjecting themselves to a commitment that seems like it might end badly for them, and I’d support identifying and reducing these disincentives where possible. Leave people free to work out their problems and find good solutions; free the economy from some of the excessive regulation that hampers growth and good jobs, so a dynamic economy helps people feel safe enough in their jobs to found new families.

Warning: I don’t endorse any of these, but they are thought-provoking:

Dear Girls Who Are (Finally) Ready To Date Nice Guys: We Don’t Want You Anymore

Dear “Nice Guys” Who Are At the End of Their Rope: You Actually Aren’t That Nice.

Just Say No: For white working-class women, it makes sense to stay single mothers.

Why isn’t Carl good enough?

Men on Strike, by Helen Smith (wife of Glenn Reynolds the Instapundit, who was kind enough to plug Bad Boyfriends on his site) is a provocative look at how boys and young men are being damaged by schools run primarily by women who now view masculine energy as something to be suppressed, and a society that views men as suspect and probably at fault in any issue. It certainly does not help that lower-class young men are devalued and underemployed at a much greater rate than ever before, and so we get Carl from the link above, “Just Say No,” who while father of a woman’s child is seen as a hindrance in her life.

More on Divorce, Marriage, and Mateseeking

Marriages Happening Late, Are Good for You
Monogamy and Relationship Failure; “Love Illuminated”
“Millionaire Matchmaker”
More reasons to find a good partner: lower heart disease!
“Princeton Mom” Susan Patton: “Marry Smart” not so smart
“Blue Valentine”
“All the Taken Men are Best” – why women poach married men….
“Marriage Rate Lowest in a Century”
Making Divorce Hard to Strengthen Marriages?
Student Loan Debt: Problems in Divorce
“The Upside of ‘Marrying Down’”
The High Cost of Divorce
Separate Beds Save Marriages?
Marital Discord Linked to Depression
Marriage Contracts: Give People More Legal Options
Older Couples Avoiding Marriage For Financial Reasons
Divorced Men 8 Times as Likely to Commit Suicide as Divorced Women
Vox Charts Millennial Marriage Depression
What’s the Matter with Marriage?
Life Is Unfair! The Great Chain of Dysfunction Ends With You.
Leftover Women: The Chinese Scene
Constant Arguing Can Be Deadly…
“If a fraught relationship significantly shortens your life, are you better off alone?
“Divorce in America: Who Really Wants Out and Why”
View Marriage as a Private Contract?
“It’s up there with ‘Men Are From Mars’ and ‘The Road Less Travelled’”
Free Love, eHarmony, Matchmaking Pseudoscience
Love Songs of the Secure Attachment Type
“The New ‘I Do’”
Unrealistic Expectations: Liberal Arts Woman and Amazon Men
Mark Manson’s “Six Healthy Relationship Habits”
“The Science of Happily Ever After” – Couples Communications
Free Dating Sites: Which Have Attachment Type Screening?
Dating Pool Danger: Harder to Find Good Partners After 30
Mate-Seeking: The Science of Finding Your Best Partner
Perfect Soulmates or Fellow Travelers: Being Happy Depends on Perspective
No Marriage, Please: Cohabiting Taking Over
“Marriage Markets” – Marriage Beyond Our Means?
Rules for Relationships: Realism and Empathy
Limerence vs. Love
The “Fairy Tale” Myth: Both False and Destructive
When to Break Up or Divorce? The Economic View
“Why Are Great Husbands Being Abandoned?”
Divorce and Alimony: State-By-State Reform, Massachusetts Edition
“Sliding” Into Marriage, Small Weddings Associated with Poor Outcomes
Subconscious Positivity Predicts Marriage Success…
Why We Are Attracted to Bad Partners (Who Resemble a Parent)

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