“Princeton Mom” Susan Patton: “Marry Smart” not so smart

Susan Patton wrote a letter to the editor of the Princeton college newspaper suggesting the young ladies of Princeton should find a mate among their fellow Princeton students as quickly as possible, or be left out, eggs growing stale, when the husband hunting got harder in their post-college lives. This was controversial enough to get her a publisher and a publicist, who succeeded in placing an expanded excerpt from her then-upcoming book, Marry Smart, in the Wall Street Journal. Her publicists got her booked at a dozen media outlets, from morning shows to The Daily Show. Dressed and coiffured like some 1950s society lady, she proceeded to entertain audiences with her amazingly retrograde views, which imply a woman needs to sell herself as a companion and mate quickly before her value on the mating market declines. She pointed out that older men like younger woman, and by the time a woman is in her 30s, men of her age will be eying the younger females who are “dewy and fresh.” There’s a grain of truth to some of her suggestions, but only a grain, wrapped in an offensive package. It was her anachronistic packaging and irritating message that got her noticed, and promoted, and no doubt she was booked on the shows primarily to entertain. The Blaze comments:

But Maureen O’Connor in New York Magazine’s The Cut got the inside scoop with more information from Patton. In an interview with the Princeton 1977 class president, O’Conner found the mother, who is recently divorced after 27 years of marriage, wished she married a Princeton grad herself. Patton explained to O’Conner that she was surprised by the “extreme” reaction the op-ed received. Even with her divorce last month, she told O’Conner her own situation is not what spurred the letter. “Honestly, I just thought this was some good advice from a Jewish mother,” she said.

It was every daughter’s nightmare of condescending advice from your mother. This excellent guest blog post by Lisa Endlich Heffernan at Forbes covers all the bases. All that being said, for a secure young woman who happens to meet the right secure young man early in college, marriage is not a bad idea. Building a career is easier with the support of a good partner, and growing together with someone from that age can work well. Presenting it as a game of musical chairs you will lose in if you don’t rush to sell yourself, though, is offensive.

Death by HR: How Affirmative Action Cripples OrganizationsDeath by HR: How Affirmative Action Cripples Organizations

[From Death by HR: How Affirmative Action Cripples Organizations,  available now in Kindle and trade paperback.]

The first review is in: by Elmer T. Jones, author of The Employment Game. Here’s the condensed version; view the entire review here.

Corporate HR Scrambles to Halt Publication of “Death by HR”

Nobody gets a job through HR. The purpose of HR is to protect their parent organization against lawsuits for running afoul of the government’s diversity extortion bureaus. HR kills companies by blanketing industry with onerous gender and race labor compliance rules and forcing companies to hire useless HR staff to process the associated paperwork… a tour de force… carefully explains to CEOs how HR poisons their companies and what steps they may take to marginalize this threat… It is time to turn the tide against this madness, and Death by HR is an important research tool… All CEOs should read this book. If you are a mere worker drone but care about your company, you should forward an anonymous copy to him.


More on Divorce, Marriage, and Mateseeking

Marriages Happening Late, Are Good for You
Monogamy and Relationship Failure; “Love Illuminated”
“Millionaire Matchmaker”
More reasons to find a good partner: lower heart disease!
“Princeton Mom” Susan Patton: “Marry Smart” not so smart
“Blue Valentine”
“All the Taken Men are Best” – why women poach married men….
“Marriage Rate Lowest in a Century”
Making Divorce Hard to Strengthen Marriages?
Student Loan Debt: Problems in Divorce
“The Upside of ‘Marrying Down’”
The High Cost of Divorce
Separate Beds Save Marriages?
Marital Discord Linked to Depression
Marriage Contracts: Give People More Legal Options
Older Couples Avoiding Marriage For Financial Reasons
Divorced Men 8 Times as Likely to Commit Suicide as Divorced Women
Vox Charts Millennial Marriage Depression
What’s the Matter with Marriage?
Life Is Unfair! The Great Chain of Dysfunction Ends With You.
Leftover Women: The Chinese Scene
Constant Arguing Can Be Deadly…
“If a fraught relationship significantly shortens your life, are you better off alone?
“Divorce in America: Who Really Wants Out and Why”
View Marriage as a Private Contract?
“It’s up there with ‘Men Are From Mars’ and ‘The Road Less Travelled’”
Free Love, eHarmony, Matchmaking Pseudoscience
Love Songs of the Secure Attachment Type
“The New ‘I Do’”
Unrealistic Expectations: Liberal Arts Woman and Amazon Men
Mark Manson’s “Six Healthy Relationship Habits”
“The Science of Happily Ever After” – Couples Communications
Free Dating Sites: Which Have Attachment Type Screening?
Dating Pool Danger: Harder to Find Good Partners After 30
Mate-Seeking: The Science of Finding Your Best Partner
Perfect Soulmates or Fellow Travelers: Being Happy Depends on Perspective
No Marriage, Please: Cohabiting Taking Over
“Marriage Markets” – Marriage Beyond Our Means?
Rules for Relationships: Realism and Empathy
Limerence vs. Love
The “Fairy Tale” Myth: Both False and Destructive
When to Break Up or Divorce? The Economic View
“Why Are Great Husbands Being Abandoned?”
Divorce and Alimony: State-By-State Reform, Massachusetts Edition
“Sliding” Into Marriage, Small Weddings Associated with Poor Outcomes
Subconscious Positivity Predicts Marriage Success…
Why We Are Attracted to Bad Partners (Who Resemble a Parent)


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